BUFFALO COIN: Infomercial Review

When I was younger, my mom bought me some cologne from Avon that came in this incredible looking container. The container was a huge reproduction of the famous Buffalo Nickel, with the American Indian head on the front and the buffalo on the back. I loved that thing. Hated the cologne, though--but this was the closest I'd ever gotten to having a genuine Buffalo Nickel.

I thought about that as I saw on late-night TV the other night a commercial for a new Buffalo coin. "Great," I thought, "It's my chance to finally own the nickel."

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Not so fast. This is a $50 coin.

FIFTY DOLLARS. If you try using this baby in the Pepsi machine, get ready for a long wait for change.

It was a bit puzzling, though, that they're selling it for $19.95. How do you sell $50 for $20? Isn't that a bit like me selling a quarter on national TV for just ten cents?

Anyway, this commercial shows that the coin is almost a dead ringer for those old buffalo nickels. But instead of silver in color, this is gold. In fact, the announcer said it's .9999 pure 24 carat gold. I guess somehow in the production process, they just could not eek out that last .0001 to make it fully gold.

But regardless of how fully gold it is or isn't, this thing just looks totally nifty. I told my wife, "I gotta have this for my coin collection."

"You don't have a coin collection," she said. "True, but think of all the coins I can buy with a fifty dollar coin that only costs $20." She couldn't argue with my flawless logic, and so my $50 gold Buffalo Coin is on the way. Along with my wife's Avon order.

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WOW STORAGE CONTAINERS: Infomercial Review

I love to build things as much as anyone. When I was a boy, my favorite toys were Legos and Lincoln Logs and Tinker Toys, because of how you could easily connect them and build things.

I guess the new WOW Storage Containers must be the Legos for housewives. At least, that's what I told myself the other day when I saw a counter FULL of WOWS at my mom's house. I knew what they were because I had already seen the commercial myself.

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The concept behind WOW storage containers is simple: Like Legos, they are designed so that one container easily connects to another at the open "mouth" end. So for instance, if I want to store celery, one container won't be long enough, but if you make one the "lid," you can just attach the two at the ends and they form one single container.

Great concept, but let me say something about the commercial. First, the lady at the start of the commercial deserved to have all of her dishes fall all over the place. Look how they were just packed into the cabinet. I don't see how she even managed to close the doors without them falling out.

Same with the lady who spilled chili all over the counter. I mean, if the chili rises 2 inches above the top of the dish, what did she think would happen when she tried to force a lid down on top of it?

My mom tried to convince me to buy my own WOW storage containers. But I just don't store things. I use it or I throw it away. Takes too much time to put that leftover corn in a container.

So I bought my own WOW storage containers. Not to store things in. I just like to build with them. I haven't played with Legos in years, and these are a nice replacement.

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POWER JUICER EXPRESS: Infomercial Review

I finally got tired of my wife asking me to "watch this commercial," so I finally agreed, in the middle of a HOUSE marathon. It's the commercial for POWER JUICER EXPRESS, which as the name implies, is a super-deluxe juicing machine that makes it quick and easy to get all the juice out of any fruit or vegetable you ram into it.

My big complaint with the commercial: They try their best to make me feel OLD for even considering buying it. First, they start with the question, "Are you tired, listless, lacking energy?"

Well, I wasn't until you mentioned it. Thanks for calling my attention to how tiring middle-age can be.

Then they point out that this is a product endorsed by Jack Lalanne. You remember, he was the energetic guy who showed you how to do all these exercises on TV--back in the 1960s. The guy must be pushing 90 now, and though he looks great for his age--come on, how energetic can you be at 90?

Still, I'll admit one thing: The people in the commercial look like they're about to collapse and like they're plum miserable. At least Jack still has a smile on his face. Yes, a smile. I think about that as I see the grumpy expression on my wife as she cleans up my coffee spill. And I think to myself--maybe a juicer is just the thing for her.

That's when I ordered the Power Juicer Express.

It really is as easy to use as the commercial says. And I've drunk juice I never even thought of (Although not my idea, my wife somehow managed to create and force me to drink cucumber juice). So I'm pleased with the product. But it still has never given my wife that happy grin of Jack Lalanne. Maybe the next infomercial...

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