SPACE BAG TO GO: Infomercial Review

Now here's a product that I can totally get behind. I'm talking about the infomercial for Space Bag to Go. Here's the concept: If you don't have enough room for your clothing items in a regular suit case, you use one of these vacuum bag things. You put the clothes in and then by applying pressure to it,, all of the air is sucked out and decreases the size of it by two, three or four times its original size.

That's what we need more of in our world: Vacuum packs to make things smaller. I'm envisioning a world with vacuum pack jeans. Now you, too, can squeeze into size 32 jeans, even if you weight 300 pounds. Just apply pressure and the vacuum jeans suck your weight down inside, to create a perfect fit.

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What about vacuum shoes for lady whose egoes won't allow them to admit that they have big feet. Now the biggest woman can by a petite girl's shoes, apply pressure, and her feet will be sucked into the shoes--again, a perfect fit.

Speaking of shoes, why not a vacuum closet that manages to cramall 1,000 pairs of your wives' shoes into a closet a mere 4 feet wide? And let's think really big: A vacuum bathroom that, with just the right pressure, sucks all 5 of your kids into the tiny bathroom during the morning before-school ritual?

I think Space Bag is onto something truly revolutionary here. In fact, their already low price of $19.95, with a money vacuum, could be compressed into mere pennies. What a great concept!

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CARDIO TWISTER: Infomercial Review

There are TV commercials about fitness products for men and there are TV commercials about fitness products for women.

Cardio Twister is meant for both mean and women.....but as this commercial demonstrates, it's hard for a man to "twist" his way to fitness and still look macho. Something just looks positively unmanly in those twisty moes they perform.

Cardio Twister, by the way, is an outstanding device that my niece uses regularly. It's this thing you step up on and using the handles, you--well, you twist. Great way to shed pounds. But guys--you'll want to use it inside, where you can't be seen. Not like the idiot in this commercial who moved this thing outside right by his swimming pool (Bad idea, not only because his neighbors can watch, but because one wrong twist would throw him in the water).

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Still, the infomercial does its best to try to appeal to the guy. It starts with a single male in the front row surrounded by women on both sides. Hey, forget the twisting, this is any man's fantasy, right? Well, except for the fact that the gym where they're twisting looks like a disco straight out of the 1970s. They should twist to the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive," and the effect would be complete.

One thing I really don't get. At the end of the commercial, they announce that if you "order now," they'll also send you a DVD showing how to twist.

Hmm.....How hard can it be to twist your body back and forth? Why the need for an instructional DVD? And if it's really that hard, what about the poor people who don't "call now," but wait a week? Will they be forever looking at their new Cardio Twister, not knowing how to use it?

It could be a dilemma for eaven the macho-est of macho men.

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Fun Foil Infomercial Review

Whoa!! This certainly isn’t what I thought it was going to be. When I first heard fun foil, my mind instantly drifted to yet another useless and poorly named kitchen utensil used to keep food “fresher” for longer. You can guess how surprised I was when it turned out the Fun Foil was just a toy for kids.

And now that were on that topic, has it really been that long since I was a child. I mean, I remember seeing the infomercials for children’s toys when I was young and thinking “Oh my God” that thing looks awesome. But that was in a time when the infomercials that were targeting young kids included lead based paints or something equally considered dangerous by the dang Hippies that are in charge today. Bah, mercury poisoning isn’t that bad. We used to play with the stuff. Anyways, now the infomercials are on some seemingly lame items. Foil that you push onto an animal shaped figure and it comes out shiny. I think that its kind of a slap in the face to imagination and inventiveness of children, but wait, can’t even spank your kids anymore, dang Hippies!! When I was young we could play all day with a ball of Play Doh. We didn’t need any stencils to help us make something, we would just roll it into a ball and when it got too dirty and had all the hair in it, we would throw it away.

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Now kids are suppose to “bling’ out there scooters and what not. I am all for creativity and individuality, but whether or not my nephews scooter looks like everyone else’s is pretty far set from my mind. Nonetheless, my nephew is four years old and I know that he will love to play with this foil stuff no matter how much I don’t care for it, and after all its for the kids.

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