ALWAYS FRESH: Infomercial Review

I like a good commercial where you can trust the spokesperson as an authority on the product she's hawking, don't you? OOPS, so much for the ALWAYS FRESH infomercial.

Now let me state first off that I love ALWAYS FRESH. They are these food products that keep foods that you store in your refrigerator nice and crisp (I hate limpy celery). They do it by removing the gas that causes food to lose its freshness in the fridge. And although I was skeptical at first, these work really well.

But that doesn't change the fact that I just don't trust the lady they have demonstrating the stuff in the commercial. If i want exercise equipment, I want a model who is in shape. If I want hair-care products, I want a model with nice hair. So who do I get for modeling dishes that keep food fresh? Some lady who has the most disgusting refrigerator ever!

I mean this lady is keeping black bananas beside her yellow ones (And those yellow ones.....Come one, I have never seen bananas THAT yellow, even in those plastic fruit baskets). Lady, when bananas get that black, throw them out, ok?

She also keeps moldy cheese that she admits smells disgusting and bread with mold all over it. Wouldn't you think that when she got her ALWAYS FRESH, she would have dumped the smelly food?

I'm also not buying her claim that her chicken salad had been in the container for 10 days. It was still full! You made chicken salad that you weren't going to use for two weeks?

I also don't believe it when she said that you get 10 dishes--but 20 if you call in the next 20 minutes. I happened to order mine 12 minutes after the commercial, and still got 20.

Love the product--just be real next time, ok?

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LIGHT RELIEF: Infomercial Review

Light Relief is a product that just looks super cool. I couldn't care less whether it works or not (and it does, by the way). As an avid STAR TREK fan, I gotta have one just because it looks so Star Trekky. Imagine: I can get rid of all of my pain by just rubbing it with this flashing light thingy.

And even if it didn't work (It does, by the way), I look so doggone futuristic just by using it.

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The one thing not so cool about their infomercial, though: their spokesman who starts it off. This guy looks and sounds like a Robert Wagner wannabee. And Robert Wagner ain't no spring chicken. Neither is this guy. It's somewhat less than convincing having an elderly person saying "the future is here."

On the other hand, since most people who start experiencing the pains that Light Relief addresses tend to be older, I can see the value of targeting them.

Something else about this commercial was a bit unconvincing: right as the announcer says you can "recapture your joy of living a happy, healthy life," the people on the screen seem as miserable as anyone I've ever known.

Also, they say that a professional device like this would cost over $2,000, then they say that Light Relief costs less than a fraction of the price.

Less than a fraction? Isn't the only thing less than a fraction ZERO?

Still, I'm happy with my Light Relief. People who see me with it are instantly impressed by just how it looks, regardless of whether it relieves pain (and it does, by the way).

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THE WAVE SPEED SLIMMING: Infomercial Review

Oh where, oh where, oh where are these women!? I'm talking about the women who appear all throughout the infomercial for The Wave Speed Slimming program.
For those who haven't seen it, The Wave is this weight loss / fitness product that you can stand on and rock back and forth. Or turn it the other way, and use it as an incline for various stair exercises. And there are multiple other ways to use it as well, all of which are legitimate exercises, made genuinely easier thanks to The Wave.
But back to the women. Where , oh where, are these women? Where are the women who dress like this when they're at the gym? When I go to the gym, if it'a a mixed gym with males and females, the women certainly do not wear the skimpy bikinis like these ladies do. And honestly, I wouldn't want them to. Elephants just don't work in a thong. And for some reason, elephants are the people who always grace the gyms I visit.
And where oh where are the women who smile seductively all the way through their workout. All of these exercise infomercials, including this one, show women with their eyes halfway closed and an alluring slight grin on their faces as if getting sweaty is a great turn-on for them. Meanwhile, at my gym for elephants, the woman scrunch their noses, grunt and spit.
And where oh where are the women who say "If you don't have the money, I'll buy it for you." That's what one model tells her friend in the commercial. Hey, someone buy me a Wave and I just might try it!
One other thing puzzles me about this commercial: They say they're marketing this for millions of women. Why women? Why are the best, funnest things always targeted for women? Men like to have fun when they're working out, too.
At least, that's what I hear--from men who actually work out. Yes, I admit: I, too, am an elephant.

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E-CIGARETTE Infomercial Review

Sometimes you see a commercial for a product that just makes you scratch your head, drop your jaw and say, "WHAAAAT?" Oh, sometimes it might be a good product. It's just a strange one. Such was the case when I saw a commercial recently for something known as the Electronic Cigarette, or "E Cigarette" (The commercial was a segment entitled "Smart Smoker.")

So here's the concept. The E-Cigarette helps you stop smoking by replacing a regular cigarette with this electronic device that's kind of shaped like a cigarette, it feels like a cigarette, and it delivers taste and even nicotine into the system like a cigarette. But it's a much lesser amount of nicotine which is gradually reduced until you don't need it at all.

I honestly think this is a great idea with great potential.....and yet it seems so bizarre. I mean, wouldn't you kind of feel like the kid who's smoking a bubble-gum cigarette to pretend like he's really smoking? Only now you're an adult "making believe."

And flavors? That's right: The e-cigarette comes in flavor. During the brief time that I smoked, my cigarettes came in two flavors: filtered and super-bitter. But the c-cigarette comes in those as well as mint and apple. An apple "cigarette?" Why not just smoke a Granny Smith? Probably has vitamins that somehow reach your lungs.

The commercial also makes the point that the e-cigarette does not actually burn, and therefore it's legal even in restaurants that ban smoking. But let's be honest: This is human nature we're fighting here. If an anti-cigarette zealot sees something hanging from your lips, she's going to imagine she smells smoke and march right to the manager and report you.

So in summary, I think the e-cigarette is a great concept. But it's so unusual that there is still a weird factor that many people are not ready for. However, having said that, I would urge people to overlook the weirdness and, if it's the difference between getting lung cancer and living a long, healthy life, overcome the weird feeling and smoke --er "unsmoke" an e-cigarette.

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