There's this lady who works at my office who is a wacky environmentalist.....er, I mean, who is passionate about protecting the earth. One day as I was taking a drink out of the plastic water bottle I'd been using for six months, she marched up to me and said, "Did you know that your plastic bottle will last up to 700 years?"
"Yeah I know, I'm pretty proud of it. It's held up well for me," I said.
"No, no, that's a bad thing!"
I didn't understand how it could be bad for something to last me a long time, so she asked me to watch the infomercial on my computer for a product called ECO CANTEEN. According to this commercial, plastic is bad for the environment because plastic bottles take next to forever to degrade, and the refillable bottles also contain chemicals that can be dangerous. ECO CANTEEN lets you refill it with water as much as you want, and it's not dangerous to you or to the environment.
I went back to my friend and told her I was impressed. "But let me see if I understand correctly. This is better because it won't last as long, right?'"
"Uh right," she said.
"So should I buy a car that promises to not last as long as the other brand?"
She sighed. I hate it when women sighed. She said, "Eco Canteen will last you probably your entire life, but it won't pollute the environment for generations to come. Plus, like the commercial says, it holds 26 ounces of water, so you'll wind up drinking more water."
"I use my bottle to drink Pepsi. Can I still use it?"
Another sigh. "Go away," she said.
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