Wednesday, January 13, 2010

THE WAVE SPEED SLIMMING: Infomercial Review


Oh where, oh where, oh where are these women!? I'm talking about the women who appear all throughout the infomercial for The Wave Speed Slimming program.
For those who haven't seen it, The Wave is this weight loss / fitness product that you can stand on and rock back and forth. Or turn it the other way, and use it as an incline for various stair exercises. And there are multiple other ways to use it as well, all of which are legitimate exercises, made genuinely easier thanks to The Wave.
But back to the women. Where , oh where, are these women? Where are the women who dress like this when they're at the gym? When I go to the gym, if it'a a mixed gym with males and females, the women certainly do not wear the skimpy bikinis like these ladies do. And honestly, I wouldn't want them to. Elephants just don't work in a thong. And for some reason, elephants are the people who always grace the gyms I visit.
And where oh where are the women who smile seductively all the way through their workout. All of these exercise infomercials, including this one, show women with their eyes halfway closed and an alluring slight grin on their faces as if getting sweaty is a great turn-on for them. Meanwhile, at my gym for elephants, the woman scrunch their noses, grunt and spit.
And where oh where are the women who say "If you don't have the money, I'll buy it for you." That's what one model tells her friend in the commercial. Hey, someone buy me a Wave and I just might try it!
One other thing puzzles me about this commercial: They say they're marketing this for millions of women. Why women? Why are the best, funnest things always targeted for women? Men like to have fun when they're working out, too.
At least, that's what I hear--from men who actually work out. Yes, I admit: I, too, am an elephant.

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